No One Is Fine and Yet All Is Well

When you ask someone how they are and they answer, “Fine,” what crosses your mind?

Me? I think “Ugh.”

Because no one is really fine.

Oh, they may be ecstatic. Or over the moon. Or sad, mad or glad.

But fine?


When I try to conjure up what fine means to me, all I think of is fine silverware for sale at Bloomies.. (No disrespect to luminous silver.)

Fine is such a limiting word. And it’s actually dismissive … and most dismissive of your body.

So my challenge to you this week is to sync up your communications with your truth …

  1. For 1 week, vow to respond to all queries about how you are with a single truthful and descriptive word.( Tip: Sensory words are the most satisfying.)
  2. Don’t shy away from vulnerability. If you’d rather not say you’re feeling depressed, try a color (blue) or a texture (slimed) to convey what you’re really feeling.

Then watch how your mood shifts when you honor your body.

You might just find yourself feeling even better than fine.

P.S. I know this might sound crazy simple. But I also want you to know this … something this simple combined with a few key tools has been life-changing in my clients’ lives. It’s helped them find their creative courage in ways we never could have dreamed of before.


  1. Twelve years ago I had 10 breast cancer surgeries and eight rounds of chemo. When people would ask me how I was doing, I would answer, “Terrific!” I discovered this did two things: People are often hesitant to ask for fear of the details they might hear, plus they don’t know what to say in return. My answer made them less afraid to call me again. Also, it was self-reinforcing for me. I kept saying, “Terrific” and I discovered that I was terrific! As my mother always said, “Thoughts are things.” Brenda

  2. I totally agree! It’s like people use fine as a way to not say anything at all. I have taken fine out of my own vocabulary. As well as “ya” and “sure”. They just are not decisive enough. Thanks for the challenge and suggestions. It’s a great way to create a great new way to communicate.

Share Your Thoughts