Unlocking Doors

Someone recently redeemed a gift certificate for a cranial healing session. Before the session, during our phone conversation as I was gathering info and answering her questions, the woman was defensive, almost rude.  I say ‘almost’ because I know when someone is afraid or in pain, he or she may not be aware of tone. If I can energetically step back and widen my field to understand that this person couldn’t possibly mean to sound as antagonistic as she does, the energy often transforms.

But sometimes the situation escalates. Arriving at my office, this giftee used as many multi syllabic words as possible with each thought she uttered. After each especially long medical phrase, she sighed and asked me if I understood. I simply listened and nodded and allowed her to say whatever she need before getting on the treatment table.

With her expectations so low, I thought, on the one hand, she would be in for a nice surprise. On the other, I thought, maybe mind/body work was simply not for her. I stayed neutral as to the outcome.

I worked on her tailbone as well as her liver and stomach, encouraging mobility where there was none. I spent the remainder of the hour releasing restrictions in her neck, the area called The Avenue of Expression.

After the session, she seemed relaxed, said “thank you” and left. I turned my attention to preparing for a Holistic coaching call with my next client. As I retrieved the next file, had a sip of tea and checked messages, I wondered about the elements in life over which we have no control. These are, as you may know, all the key ones.

I wondered if I would ever know what the gift certificate woman felt about her experience. Her body responded well to it and her cranial bones were heavily compressed. But she left still looking defensive.

I thought about pain and human defenses, our need for safety and the sometimes awful ways we present ourselves to others when all we want is assurance that we are being seen and heard. In truth we are hoping the pain we carry will not be brushed aside as unimportant, that no harm will come to us if we allow vulnerability. It’s primal stuff, no matter what we layer on top, our manners or our intellect.

The need for help can escalate to an angry cry when our ego keeps us in check too long.  Or it can numb us into a defensive stance that feels safe. The irony is that after awhile what we think is protecting us becomes a stagnant prison, keeping us from growing and expanding.

Two days after this session, I was at a neighborhood council meeting and gift gal was there. She rushed up to me to tell me that ten years ago, she’d been robbed at gunpoint in her home. Ever since, she had locked and re-locked all the doors in her house obsessively (her word not mine). She paused. After the healing session and for the past two days she had only locked her doors only once and slept like a baby. She seemed incredulous as she told me. I could tell that there was still doubt as to how that happened but since I often hear unusual positive responses to my healing work, I didn’t try to explain it. But what a metaphor she presented me. We have no control over key elements in our lives. You know, all the juicy ones! But if we can flip our perspective, we may allow ourselves to unlock our doors. Then perhaps invite some light, fresh air inside. Ahhhh.

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